I had two ideas in mind for our photo 1 assignment: one that was fairly easy to do and another that I thought was more interesting, but felt very uncomfortable with. I wasn’t sure which one to choose, but as the assignment deadline got closer, I was leaning more toward the easier task. I had to choose between focusing my project on the UF water polo club, which I am a member of, or on the lives of Muslim students during the month of Ramadan, the holiest month for Muslims.
Ramadan is a month when Muslims fast—abstain from food and drink—from sunrise to sun set. During this sacred month, Muslims try to increase their religious practices. They pray more, try to go to the mosque more often, give more charity, and read the Koran. I once wrote a news story about Ramadan when I was a reporter for The Collegian, Fresno State’s school newspaper. This article can give you a bigger picture about Ramadan.
During Ramadan, the Muslim community in Gainesville comes together and becomes very active. There are daily group Iftars—meals after breaking the fast—and there are daily extended group prayers in the mosque. Also, Islam on Campus, the Muslim student group at UF, sponsors a number of activities for Muslim and non-Muslim students.
At first, I thought it would be a good idea to showcase the lives of Muslim students during this month. But not until I realized that I had to take pictures of the mosque and of people inside the mosque did I second guess my plan. The mosque is a very revered and sacred worshiping place. Muslims go there to pray, read the Koran and find peace in their own sense. I was pretty sur they wouldn’t want to be bothered by a person holding a camera. Also, Muslims are usually very private people who always shy away from any kind of media exposure. But I was more concerned with the diversity of people who visit the mosque. The mosque in Gainesville is a house of worship for Arab Muslims, non-Arab Muslim, American Muslims, young Muslims and old Muslims. Because of this melting pot of backgrounds, I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I am going to receive from various people. To be honest, I was very appalled by the fact that by pursuing this project, I would make some of my Muslim brothers uncomfortable.
I decided to go ahead and take pictures of the UF water polo team. I went to the pool, took 200 pictures, picked the best 20 and posted them on the web. I had a few good shots, and I could have easily gone back and taken a few more if I needed to. The next day, I realized that the water polo story had no substance. It will be about a sports team practicing all season with a goal of winning a specific tournament. Haven’t we heard these kinds of stories too many times before?
Anyways, I went to Professor McAdams during her office hours to explain to her my situation. Our Meeting was two days before the assignment was due. She told me the Ramadan story would be much more interesting, and that I still had time to do it. I expressed to her how uncomfortable I was about it. She told me that it was ok for me to be comfortable as long as your subjects are not. Well, I was sure my subjects would be just as uncomfortable as I would be. We had a long discussion that day, and she told me that I should at least try.
I took my camera with me to the mosque that day. Before I did anything, I asked for permission to take pictures from one of the mosque’s secretaries. He told me it was fine as long as the other Muslims were fine with it. That was a bit relaxing. I arrived a bit early that day. Not many people were there at first. I started taking pictures, but quickly, more and more people began arriving. I panicked, and got a bit nervous. No, I got very nervous. I took about 15 pictures and then I felt I couldn’t do it anymore. It was just too much for me.
Now I only had one more day before the assignment was due. I decided to give it another shot, but this time, I was determined to conquer my fear. I had a game plan: I came early, and as people entered the mosque, I greeted them and explained to them what I was doing. I also asked if it was ok for me to take pictures of them. Some were not very happy with the idea, but surprisingly, many were ok with it. I started taking my pictures, but I was still not comfortable. For some reason, I felt that I was doing something wrong. I got very fidgety and started to sweat a lot, but, fortunately, I was able to get my 190 shots. It was really tough, and I’m glad I was over with it.
I went back home to check my pictures. OH NOOOOOO, 80% of my pictures were blurry. I was not happy. It could be that my camera was too old, but I think that my shots were affected by nerves. After all this emotional roller coaster, the end product wasn’t good enough. What a disappointment. I am glad that I still have a few weeks before the final assignment is due.
I wanted to share with you this story to show you the dilemma I was faced with. For the water polo assignment, which was the easy one, I had 20 good shots, but I didn’t think the story had any substance. I didn’t have as many good shots for the Ramadan topic, but I was sure that it was more interesting.
I guess the lesson I learned is that uncomfortable situations can produce a more interesting product, but make sure that you are up to the challenge before you pursue it. I guess I wasn’t up to the challenge, but still have some time to redeem myself.
Interesting. I wanted to take photos of the lives of Muslim women at UF. I thought the best way to approach people is to contact Islam on Campus, so that Islam on Campus contact the women initially. But Islam on Campus never returned my emails. I had the same feelings of being uncomfortable, so I decided to work on a different story! (I had only one day to take photos. Many of my photos turned out blurry too and I should shoot again. So, you ate not alone!)
I appreciate your feelings in this situation, and I think it’s wonderful that you explained yourself so clearly. It’s natural for a journalist to feel uncomfortable when he is sticking out like a sore thumb, as we say. It may be hard to talk with or photograph strangers in some situations, but it’s really interesting to realize that sometimes a journalist can be uncomfortable with people he knows and who know him.
It’s also nice to see that you were thinking so seriously about the substance of your story. I’m really pleased to hear that you didn’t want to pursue a story that lacked substance. We always need to ask ourselves: “Does this story matter? Why?”
This was a great post. I have serious problems with being comfortable in almost every story I do, no matter how substantive or sensitive it is. So I guess it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has that problem. It’s something I’m still working to overcome. I always think the next one will be easier, but for some reason it isn’t.
Now, I’m also committed to what I think is a weaker story than my two original ideas, but hopefully it will work out. I think it has the potential for some decent audio. I was also debating over the ease of getting the story vs. the content, but because of scheduling issues, I didn’t really have a choice and had to go with the easier one in the end.
Thank you all for responding. So here are some updates:
Because most of my pictures where fuzzy and blurry, I decided that it was time for me to invest in a new camera. I bought one, but it took me forever to get used to it. On the up note, I did get better pictures when I shot at an event hosted by Islam on Campus.
So I am going to shoot at the Mosque again this week, and I’m still nervous, but not as bad as I was before.
Wish me luck
Eisa, thank you for sharing this with us. I have to say, this is one of the blog posts I have enjoyed reading the most throughout this whole process. Although it was lengthy, I found myself unable to stop reading. Thank you for the honesty and emotion that you allowed yourself to share with us. I really found myself sympathizing with you as I often struggle with the same shyness and shakiness when it comes to interviewing or taking pictures, although my situations have not been the same as this one. I often feel I am disrespecting people or invading their privacy regardless of the nature of the story. It took a lot of courage for you to take the harder story despite your feelings about disrespecting your Muslim brothers. The fact that you were able to overcome this, especially because it was a subject that is close to you, shows that you are undoubtedly a journalist and a good one at that. Thank you again for a great account. I think we can all learn something from your experience with this assignment!
I often feel awkward shooting photos, but at least I have the camera to hide behind, and in many situations that suffices. In some cases, like the one you describe in your post, it is necessary to really be sensitive to the subjects in the photos. I’m very impressed that you did not give up with this tough assignment!
Talk about uncomfortable: I don’t think about how I sound when I ask questions during an interview, but when I listen to them on playback, I sometimes can’t believe I asked such a question or said such a thing in such a way … In the end, it helps me improve for the next situation but it is not a painless education!
[...] 4th, 2007 by ealnashmi If you have read about my experience with the photo 1 assignment, you must know by now that it didn’t go very well: I was very [...]
Eisa-
I’m glad to see your doing Muslims and Ramadan too. I’m focusing more on Muslim women. I can’t wait to see more of your photos and your end product. Good luck!
Thanks Saman
Hopefully your story and mine could present two dimensions about Ramadan and Muslims in general.
Just for your information, I did take a few pictures of the Muslim sisters during the IOC dinner. I’m not sure if I am going to use them though. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.